What I Learnt… Divorcing My Business Partner

James and Eimear Maguire, a solicitor and his practice manager, explain how the end of their marriage did not mean the end of Maguire Family Law

Author: Richard Tyler Publication Date: Tuesday June 11 2024, 12.01am, The Times

James and Eimear Maguire run a family law specialist, called Maguire Family Law. Founded in 2010, the firm now has a team of 16 people across four offices in Manchester and Cheshire, specialising in divorce and children. In 2012, James, 54, an experienced solicitor, and Eimear, 49, a trained nurse who had become the practice manager, separated. They subsequently divorced. Both remained working in the business. They discuss why having a shared purpose outside of their children helped them to retain an amicable relationship, as both business partners and parents of two girls, now aged 23 and 21.

We set up the business in March 2010 and it was a very stressful time

Eimear: “We had two small children and not a huge amount of support, no family locally to help. And money was a really scary thing. We remortgaged our house and that is all we had to live on: we put all our faith in this business happening.”

James: “We were on a shoestring. We had to make sure it worked, and that came at a different cost.”

Eimear: “We were operating from the house and there was no relief. We were up late at night, and I was trying to learn a business that I had never worked in before. So that was the backdrop. Then we took on a small office, which helped, and another solicitor. But with all of those things you are introducing more stresses into the relationship and working life.

“It was mid 2011 when we started to feel the cracks. I am not blaming the business: when people split up there are fundamental problems on both sides and that is something that you never really 100 per cent understand, even now, 12 years on: you can look back and think ‘Oh, what was my younger self like?’ It is a very cloudy picture.

“We separated and James moved out of the family home [January 2012]. That was tricky because you are dealing with the children and trying to keep them on an even keel.

“Then you have your work family too: by this point we had a team of six or seven and you want to communicate to them what is happening. It is really important you don’t want people surmising and leaving because they are not sure what is going on.

“You also want to save face professionally, keep up appearances and in many ways that is a good thing because it keeps you focused and makes you get up every single day and continue.”

No relationship ends overnight. It can take years

James: “My take on it, with a lawyer hat on, is I see relationships break down because of communication problems. More often than not people want to blame and take no responsibility for their part in a break-up. It might not be fifty/fifty, but it is not 100 per cent someone’s fault. Specialising in this area of law for nearly 30 years, a lot of lawyers will say there is no such thing as an amicable divorce. So then experiencing it personally, I knew I had to accept my part in it.

“There is also a business [involved]. I was always quite good at separating myself from the business: it is not what is good for me, but what is good for the business. Lawyers can be one-trick ponies: they like the work, the detail and they don’t want to be disturbed with other things such as ‘Has the client paid the bill?’ A non-lawyer like Eimear, who was there from day one, looks at [the business] with a different pair of eyes. I thought that together we would be able to work professionally, and not to take any of this personally.”

Eimear: “In terms of the business, I very much considered my position there. While we are the best of friends now, at that point it was very difficult for us to be in the same room. We had a lot of emotion and anger to contain. I did say on a couple of occasions: ‘Shall I leave you to it?’

“However I had become quite integral to the business and I felt there was a role for me. I had also relinquished my nursing certificate. I wanted to have a future in law, in business. I also had young kids, so where else was I going to get a job like that, that suited family life?

“But it has been challenging for me. At the start of the business I felt I didn’t belong in the legal world. You feel you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder because you are not the lawyer. It is different now because I know I have sufficient achievements that I don’t have to justify myself.”

Clear communications with the team were important

Eimear: “We decided that we were going to let the team know. Because it was very emotional, I could not speak directly about it so I composed an email that I ran past James. We said to everyone that this is the position, we are separating, but be reassured we are fully invested in the business and nothing is going to change. All you can do is hope that people will believe that and respect that.”

The legal work and finances of our divorce were finalised by 2017

James: “Time is a healer and we were able to say this is what we should do and what is fair. The [family] court is always looking to achieve a clean break; in our case we could not do that because we still have various financial and business links together [James owns 70 per cent of the business; Eimear 30 per cent; she received the family home in the settlement: “Everything has always been fair,” said Eimear].

James: “Where people can reach an agreement, as we did, you can be quite sophisticated in terms of what the agreement looks like, rather than having something imposed on you.

“We trust each other, which is very important, and have confidence in our decisions: we don’t always agree on everything, but it is important to have someone there who can challenge you, with respect. It creates a healthy environment.”

Eimear: “Fundamentally we have had very similar upbringings and are very hard working: we were never gifted anything; and everything we have we have worked for. We are very driven, so no matter what goes on I know that James is going to show up. And he knows I am going to do the same.

“I’ve thought about a few tips for other people in a similar situation:

• Take professional counsel: I don’t just mean a family lawyer. One of the big concerns for people is finances, ‘How am I going to survive this?’ If you can dispel some of those fears at the get-go it can help you focus on other areas of your life, such as continuing to work, and not be so worried.

• We are seeing more and more clients use divorce coaches and therapists. It is quite good for certain people, who might come in crying their eyes out to their lawyer and racking up their legal bills. It is cheaper and more effective to have someone who is properly trained. You can’t rely on your family and friends for support as you will often find their advice is: ‘Just get back together’.

• Think ahead to your children’s weddings and graduation. Put yourself in that position and think ‘I want to have a positive relationship with the parent of my children’. If you can, it will take away some of the anger and emotion that are causing the chasm between you.”

James: “To add, from a business/entrepreneur perspective:

• We deal with a lot of cases where there is a business owner. They might be employing hundreds of people. When they are hit with a divorce, the body only knows one type of stress. So my tip is to look after yourself. People sometimes don’t eat properly, sleep properly. I have encountered cases where businesses have gone under, or people have lost their employment, because the process [of divorce] can be like running a marathon. It can be a few months, but more usually it can be 12, 18 months before that light starts to shine at the end of the tunnel.”

Eimear and James Maguire were talking to Richard Tyler, editor of Times Enterprise Network

Related Topics: Law, SMEs, Entrepreneurs

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